The Channel Killer

Dr. John Gottman can predict divorce with 90% accuracy by watching a couple argue for 15 minutes.

He's not reading minds. He's reading information flow.

His "Four Horsemen"... criticism, defensiveness, contempt, stonewalling... are all channel failures.

Criticism attacks the sender instead of addressing the message. Defensiveness blocks reception. Stonewalling terminates connection entirely.

But contempt is different.

Contempt doesn't just corrupt one message. It destroys the channel itself. Eye-rolling. Sneering. Name-calling. Each instance makes future communication less possible.

You can recover from a bad message. You can clarify, apologize, try again.

You cannot recover from a corrupted channel. Once contempt enters, even good messages get distorted. "I love you" becomes "What do you want now?"

Defensiveness is the opposite of what The Third Ear Principle describes... instead of listening deeper, you block reception entirely.

This is why Gottman found contempt the single strongest predictor of divorce. Not because it's the meanest. Because it's the only pattern that destroys the ability to communicate at all.

That's also why No Authority, Full Truth works. Pixar's Braintrust keeps the channel safe. No contempt. No defensiveness. Just truth that can actually be heard.

You can fix a bad message. You can't fix a broken channel. The Information Flow shows how to protect what carries your meaning.